


Root Beer Schnapps

by justhuman



Category: Snoopy's Christmas - Royal Guardsmen, Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1
Genre: 3am Fic, Christmas, Crack, M/M, Red Baron - Freeform, Snoopy, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-25
Updated: 2012-12-25
Packaged: 2017-11-23 22:48:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/627363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justhuman/pseuds/justhuman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack visits Colorado Springs to complete an arcane (and possibly crack!) Airforce ritual at an SGC party.  That and visit his boyfriend. (I can see this as a prequel to my "Home on the Range"/"Heisenberg's Wedding" fics, so John and Cam are probably secretly being bunny rabbits too)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Root Beer Schnapps

**Author's Note:**

> Setting: SG-1 S9-10 and the equivalent for SGA (even if canon may not support the possibility of all of these people being in the same place at the same time)
> 
> I added the tag "3am Fic" because it's the kind of fic you write at 3am or drunk or any number of less than optimal conditions where you should probably just put the keyboard down. Did I mention songfic? 
> 
> Disclaimer: Really, I can't imagine MGM or the Royal Guardsmen want to take this seriously, but they own parts of this and I own none of it.

"It's about damn time," Landry growled, as he opened the door.

"So sue me," Jack snapped back and shoved a case of imported beer into the hands of some young lieutenant, who was standing neearby. "Look, I wear blue, and we all know that the only guy that gets clear weather on Christmas Eve is the guy in the red suit." Jack put down some brown paper shopping bags that were looped over his arm and started taking off his coat.

Landry took the coat and nodded. "True enough. There's a rowdy crew in there that's been waiting for you to start the ritual."

"Damn right they should be waiting for me," Jack said and then noticed that the lieutenant was still standing there and had gone wide-eyed at the word _ritual_. "Don't worry, kid, I couldn't fit the goat in my luggage so there won't be blood this year."

"Son," Landry said in his good-natured, fatherly tone, as he patted the young man on the shoulder. "Don't listen to this man's words, they'll only confuse you. There's a reason we sent him to Washington. Why don't you take that beer and put it in the refrigerator?"

With a smile, Jack picked up his bags just as a corner of the room erupted in laughter and shouts of _Vala!_. "Ah, I believe that I hear my destination."

"Have fun!" Landry said.

Landry's house was elbow to elbow with officers from the SGC that couldn't get home to family for the holiday. For this, Landry was a better man than Jack. Jack only ever put up with part of the rowdy group in the corner at his house. 

"General O'Neill! I had heard you were coming, but I wasn't sure that you'd make it," Mitchell said.

"O'Neill, it is indeed good to see you," Teal'c said.

"Nothing could keep me away." He found himself returning a brief hug from Carter, but his eyes were on the man on the sofa. Daniel smiled that crooked smile of his. Jack was wondering if they could maybe maneuver under some greenery and blame it on the mistletoe. Maybe later, after the ritual.

"Jack."

"Daniel. I have brought presents. I hope-"

"Presents!" 

His prime view of Daniel was now blocked by Vala. "Yes, there are presents, perhaps even one with your name on it."

"Oh, well I could be your elf and help distribute-"

"Uh-uh-uh," Daniel said as he stood up and pulled her hand out of Jack's bag. "No gifts until the toast."

"Toast?" Vala looked confused. "I studied this festival, which has a variety of customs that seem to culminate in presents."

"Not the meaning of the holiday," Mitchell corrected. 

"But it's not a bad direction," John Sheppard said, pushing Mitchell with his shoulder. 

"Daniel, are we ready?" Jack demanded.

In answer, Daniel slid a box out from under an end table and pulled out a large bottle and a stack of small plastic cups. 

"Root beer schnapps?" McKay questioned.

Jack nodded. "Let's pass them out." Daniel stopped a passerby and handed off the cups and bottle. At the same time Jack and Teal'c were pulling out more bottles and cups and sending them out into the room.

"Well, I'm not from this world, Mitchell," Vala said. "You can't expect me to grab every nuisance."

"Teal'c, can you fill Vala in on the meaning of Christmas?" Jack asked.

"It is a festival representing the desire to bring peace to this planet."

"Fine, peace is always good," Vala said. "What does this have to do with all the bottles you're giving away?"

"Oh, we're not giving them all away," Sam said and handed her a cup. "I believe the recruits are ready, sir."

"Ex-cell-ant," Jack said in his best Mr. Burns. He even rubbed his hands together until he saw an opportunity to take a cup of his own. He hip-checked Vala to move to the other side of the couch where Daniel was seated in front of a piano.

"Whenever you're ready," Jack said.

"The day that you retire or they repeal DADT," Daniel replied in a voice too quiet to be picked up by the crowd.

"Good to know," Jack said. "Maybe we could practice later."

"I don't think there's a maybe about it," Daniel said, as began to play and nodded to a major on the other side of the room. 

The major sang a couple of verses of _O Tannenbaum_ , which was interrupted by a second lieutenant that joined in with a snare drum, matching it to the changing tune on the piano.

The major and the two men next to him started the room off, singing loudly with cups in hand.

_The news had come out in the First World War  
The bloody Red Baron was flying once more_

_The Allied command ignored all of its men  
And called on Snoopy to do it again._

They had the room's attention and a few people joined them. A lot more people started half-singing, half-humming along.

_Was the night before Christmas, 40 below_  
When Snoopy went up in search of his foe  
He spied the Red Baron, fiercely they fought  
With ice on his wings Snoopy knew he was caught. 

Then suddenly the room was vibrating with noise as the chorus hit. Jack approved that the loudest of all was Teal'c. Vala was just turning in amazement, looking at everyone, but especially Mitchell, Sheppard and Sam, who had learned the tune at various air stations.

_Christmas bells those Christmas bells_  
Ring out from the land  
Asking peace of all the world  
And good will to man 

The song went on and Jack laughed when Mitchell smacked Vala in the ass for snooping in Jack's gift bags.

_The Baron had Snoopy dead in his sights_  
He reached for the trigger to pull it up tight  
Why he didn't shoot, well, we'll never know  
Or was it the bells from the village below. 

_Christmas bells those Christmas bells_  
Ringing through the land  
Bringing peace to all the world  
And good will to man 

_The Baron made Snoopy fly to the Rhine_  
And forced him to land behind the enemy lines  
Snoopy was certain that this was the end  
When the Baron cried out, 

" _Merry Christmas, my friend,_ " Jack shouted in his best command voice.

The last verse was nearly lost, because so many party goers were downing their root beer schnapps.

_The Baron then offered a holiday toast_  
And Snoopy, our hero, saluted his host  
And then with a roar they were both on their way  
Each knowing they'd meet on some other day. 

_Christmas bells those Christmas bells_  
Ringing through the land  
Bringing peace to all the world  
And good will to man 

Jack took a passing bottle and poured a new cup for himself and topped off Daniel's.

Landry stepped out into the room. "Here's for peace on earth, wherever fate may bring us."

Jack touched cups with Daniel who was standing next to him. 

"We may need to make an early exit, or they'll have me playing carols and Auld Lang Synge to the wee hours," Daniel said

Vala was still frowning at Mitchell and Sheppard. "Well, I'm a sensible person, so I try to avoid flying in atmosphere. So ice on your wings is bad? We're the bells actually some alien technology controlling the baron?"

Daniel let his head fall back, with a heavy sigh. It afforded Jack a very tempting view of Daniel's neck. 

"Hey, Vala!" Jack called. "Daniel's got to introduce me to his couch before I fall over. Why don't you play Santa. I'll see the rest of you tomorrow."

There was a flurry of well wishes as Daniel practically pushed Jack toward the door. From the other side of the room, he heard Sheppard ask, "Shouldn't there have been a gift for Jackson?"

"Vala!" Mitchell growled.

"I did not take Daniel's gift. Maybe the general is going to give him a present later."

Jack wiggled his eyebrows at Daniel. 

Daniel leaned in closer. "Don't you worry. I plan on showing some good will to a man tonight too."

As they walked out the door, Jack turned back to the room and shouted, "Merry Christmas, my friends!"


End file.
